I don’t know why, but there’s more “blah” than “aah” right now

February 18, 2013
images (1)


Dear Max

I generally keep my sadness, frustration and complaints at bay, and this platform isn’t really about sharing the less-than-stellar emotions I have.

But sometimes I need to vent, show you I’m “human”, and instead of letting the crazy ramblings out there, I’ll let them out here.

The last week has hurt and frustrated me – from the news, to the falling of “heroes”, to frightening rape statistics, to the same disappointments, to small kretins on social media trying to find themselves a big voice.

On the weekend I was ratty, short tempered and hollow, and I couldn’t even put my finger on why exactly, which only worsened things. Usually if I can isolate a “problem” or irritation, I can fairly easily mend or heal it.

I feel like I’m banging my head on a proverbial wall – trying to make sense of things, realising how little I can fix and control the big stuff, and berating myself for even feeling like this when I have *everything*.

And this past weekend, I was so busy banging my head that I missed the opportunity to water the garden with you when you asked with a “please”. And when you asked me to read a book, I said I was too busy. Busy feeling sorry for myself and the world.

I know it will pass, and I know soon the filter on my world view will lighten. For now though, I’m helping myself to a second slice of peanut butter cheesecake, watching Pitch Perfect to lighten my mood, and looking at you to see the good in life.


Liked this post? Follow this blog to get more. 

Previous Post Next Post

You may also like


  • Things to do with kids in Johannesburg lions | Dear Max

    […] other news, I’m feeling lots better since my last post, and I’m busy lining up some more work, getting my nails painted before our trip next week, […]

    February 20, 2013 at 11:19 am Reply
  • Adam

    Hi Tanya – wow you really write beautifully – just saw your blog for the first time -you really hit the spot with your words – that feeling of regret when we realise a missed opportunity with one of our kids. Here’s to putting out closest ones first !

    February 22, 2013 at 5:23 pm Reply
  • Leave a Reply

    WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com