When does it stop becoming *okay* to hug and kiss your mom?

April 26, 2012

Dear Max

The other night as I lay in bed reading you a story (and I know you’ll find this a shock, but it was a book on trucks and diggers), I wondered how long I’ll have this privilege for.

At what point will it be “uncool” to cuddle, hug, kiss or be fetched from right outside school? When will you lose your vulnerability, your ability to cry so easily, your love for your comfort blanket?

Four months old

As moms we love our kids growing up, interacting more and making their way through the world, and we know we need to cut the proverbial umbilical chord, but we also fear innocence lost. And we fear our kids will slam doors in our faces, shut us out, and think ill of us.

I hope that as you grow, you’ll do it alongside me, and not shut up in your room, refusing to speak to me. I get the angst of teenagers and complex parent-child relationships, but I’m going to fight hard to work on ours. And I know that the public displays of mother-son affection have a limited time span, but I hope you’ll still let me hug you and high-five you – when no one’s looking, obvs. And for now, I’m going to relish the hugs, your honesty, and your “need” for your mom.

May you grow. May you always retain your inner child. May you realise that feelings and crying are a strength.

Love always,



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  • Tania

    One of the things I love most about my Husband’s family is that they are huggers. I love how my 82yo FIL still hugs his son every time he sees him, so I guess is the answer for me is that in our family it will always be ok to hug. 🙂

    April 26, 2012 at 1:28 pm Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      This gives me hope. So good to hear 🙂

      April 27, 2012 at 8:31 am Reply
  • NickiD

    We’re also BIG on loves, hugs, kisses and cuddles. I know that I have NEVER tired of hugs and “I love you’s” from family (and friends) and I REALLY hope that this wears off on my boys x

    PS: How squishy is Max in that pic!!!

    April 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm Reply
  • Samantha Robinson

    I ask Cayleb last night to stop growing and getting big. He tells me he wants to be big now, he doesnt want to be a baby anymore. I wish we could stop them, just for a little bit, and enjoy their innocence.

    April 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm Reply
  • Cat@jugglingactoflife

    My hubby also comes om a family of huggers – Imam really hoping we can keep it up

    April 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm Reply
  • Bronwynne

    That is such a beautiful photo!

    April 27, 2012 at 9:55 pm Reply
  • Denita

    It is something I often wonder about, when I realise that every day, my ‘baby’ boy gets bigger and bigger. He is still happy to hug me now, and the thought of him not wanting to, breaks my heart already. So I will keep on hugging him,and my baby girl of course, but she is still little and loves hugs! and hopefully they will always want to hug me back xx

    May 3, 2012 at 10:24 am Reply
  • Pamela

    My brother still hugs and kisses my mom all the time. She melts every time he does. He is 37.

    May 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm Reply
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