The *other* responsibility of being a parent

September 8, 2011


Dear Max

Before you were born, I often used to chat to your dad about my worries as a parent – would you be healthy, would we be ableo to protect you and look after you well, and how we’d adjust to life as parents. I also knew that as much of a responsibility as we have to take care of you and set you up well for the world, we also need to nurture a kind and good person to be let out into life and society.

I know that your makeup, society and external factors will have a large part in moulding you too, but for the greater part, I need to take responsibility in shaping you in a way that you don’t predominantly become a biter/scratcher/toy stealer/bully/house trasher. And that you say please and thank you. And that you are a positive addition to society. (And if you could not pull the cat’s tail and dive onto her with your full weight, that would be a bonus too).

I hope we get this right, and raise you into the kind of child – and later big person – who is happy and essentially good.

I love you

Taken at Hayley and Emma's party (thanks Roz for the pic!)

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  • amandzing

    Parenting – the only legacy our parents leave us that counts.

    September 8, 2011 at 9:04 am Reply
  • nickistormdadic

    THE most gorgeous picture of Max EVER.

    How DO we know if we’re getting it right?

    Sometimes, when Luca gets grumpy and takes a swipe at me, I think “WTF? Is he a hitter? Oh GOD what have I DONE? I don’t want him to be one of those dickheads who tormented me in highschool, because I was short/fat/wearing coke-bottle glasses. How do I stop this? HOW?!”

    And then, its like he sees how upset I am, reaches out to stroke my cheek and says, “I sorry mommy … don’t worry”

    And my heart pounds hard … with love and pride.

    Max will be a gorgeous boy, inside and out, forever and a day.


    September 8, 2011 at 9:08 am Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      Thank you! It takes one great kid to know another great kid (ie Max and Luca).

      September 8, 2011 at 9:56 am Reply
  • Gwen Lepnik

    I sure can relate. When our son was born we didnt relize that that there was something wrong with him cause he was active right through my difficult prenancy. We had our fair bit of worrying as every parent have. Then when you dont hear that 1st cry and you see people running around and you get told not to worry everything will be fine you start Praying pls God let my son be ok let him breath on his own. Then you hear a little cry and your tears started falling. Then you get told there is something wrong with your baby he needs a operation. So Tiny so defenceless you have to be strong cause you see your son is a fighter. Six days old and he is having a major operation. Today he is almost 5years old so active everyday i thank God for carrying me through those hard days. Thanks Red Cross Hospital staff God worked through you.

    September 8, 2011 at 10:17 am Reply
  • cat@juggling act

    Yes, we go in blindly, ok, maybe we read a few books, listen to talks, and we hope we do our best? Toughest job in the world.

    September 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm Reply
  • Sam Choles

    Tanya, special post. And true for many moms. Sounds like you are doing a great job so far.

    Maybe we could do an experiment – put Max, Luca and Daniel in a room with one packet of Flings…and see what happens!

    Motherhood – it’s a job we do by feel.

    September 8, 2011 at 1:51 pm Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      Er, I suspect Max would take on Luca and Daniel for Flings. They’re Flings (eg life), after all…

      September 8, 2011 at 3:42 pm Reply
  • ShaneBunyan

    yes times are trying sometimes but trying hard to be a nicer person some days its hard

    June 27, 2013 at 2:44 pm Reply
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