And there I was, shopping for TWO children

May 13, 2016

Dear Max

Last week I was at Cotton On, making the most of a 30% sale, and a gift voucher, and I found myself mulitasking between the boys’ and baby sections. There I was, going from one side choosing sweatshirts, to the other picking out some babygrows.

It’s the first time I’ve shopped for two, and I came to a standstill in the middle of the shop, pondering my incredible situation.

It’s wonderfully weird – for so long it’s been just you, and we have a fantastic bond, which I imagine is not solely the result of you being an only child, but perhaps still a big reason. When I got divorced, I imagined you would be my only, and I resigned myself to this possibility. And it was okay, because you filled every inch of my “parenting heart” (I can think of no other term for it).

Now life has given us another possibility, and my heart is expanding, and our plans changing for your new sister. Your age allows you to talk about her, ask questions, imagine experiences with her, and even listen to her heartbeat on our home doppler.

I imagine that like any parent-child relationship, we will always have our own special relationship dynamic that won’t be replicated by another child, just as I might develop a different dynamic with the baby. I think it’s okay, and I don’t ever think it’s indicative of “favouritism”, but rather a different time/gender/space/personality.

This pregnancy is extra special because I get to share it with you, and because you’re aware and curious. It’s also an opportunity to talk about when I was pregnant with you (“I used to feel your hiccups”), when you were born (“As soon as you were placed on my chest you sneezed, and then sneezed again”), and when you were a baby (“You were such a calm baby, but when you were hungry for milk, we knew it”).

You tell me you won’t change nappies (fair enough), that you might help with bottles, and that you’ll play with her and get matching T-shirts. You’re even coming up with names – from the serious (like Emily) to the ridiculous (like Banana Peel – huh?).

I’m glad your little sister gets to learn from you, and be guided by your wisdom and humour (please don’t tell her fart jokes though!)

Thanks for your support and tummy pats,

xMom

 

 

 

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