Our after-school conversation goes something like this…

March 3, 2015

Dear Max

I sometimes joke that I’m going to strap a GoPro camera on you to find out more about your school days. Do you eat all your lunch, or give it away? What books do you read? What equipment do you play on during break times? What are you learning? What do you say in class? What artwork are you doing? How often are you buying popcorn from the tuckshop? What do you chat about to your friends?

It’s weird how there’s a whole chunk of your day that I know virtually nothing about, aside from snippets from you here and there, and an overall “he’s doing well” from your teacher (we will get more detailed reports in time). Truth is, as curious as I am about your general progress, happiness and development at school, I’m also curious about the mundane (see above) and the quirks, and the engagements and interactions I’ll probably never know about.

And while I don’t *need* to know about them, I *like* to know about them, not from a “I’m going to sort that kid out for teasing you” angle, but from a “I like learning about you, and what you do, and what you say”.

I get that as parents we don’t always know everything about our kids, but this is a new chapter I know virtually nothing about. Here’s how a regular conversations goes when I see you after work. Note: I don’t say “How was school?” anymore. I realise that it’s a daft vague question usually met with a “fine”.

Me: If you could rate school today, what number would you give it? (10 is the highest, 1 is the lowest)

You: A ten!

Me: What was the best thing that happened to you at school today?

You: Everything!

Me: Who did you play with at break?

You: Some girls.

Me: What are their names?

You: I have no idea (incidentally, “I have no idea” is something you’ve picked up from me)

Me: Did you do art today?

You: I have no idea

Me: Did you enjoy cricket today?

You: Yes.

Me: Did you hit a ball?

You: I only threw balls

Me: Why aren’t you hitting them?

You: Coach is teaching us to hit, but we haven’t hit them yet

Me: Are you having any problems at school?

You: No

Me: Did you eat popcorn today?

You: No

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Clearly you’re not into the mundane, and that’s okay. You’re happy, learning and fitting in well. It still doesn’t stop me from wanting to see who your friends are, what games you’re playing, and how hard you’re throwing the ball.

PS: If a kid was teasing you, I’d want to sort it out. Even though I have a pretty good feeling you wouldn’t be bothered by anyone’s teasing you.

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8 Comments

  • Sue Stuart

    Haha that is so like Katy! “What did you do today?” “More fun stuff.” I don’t get any detail from her! At least I know she enjoys school, because she was really happy to go back yesterday after we were away for a week 🙂

    March 3, 2015 at 10:18 am Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      Exactly Sue! It’s a great sign that she was happy to go back 🙂

      March 3, 2015 at 10:48 am Reply
  • Denise Kemp

    I guess mums always to know the mundane. It is what makes us get to really know our children. I still love to hear the mundane info.

    March 3, 2015 at 10:43 am Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      Me too! I wish I knew EVERYTHING though. Max not big on details 🙂

      March 3, 2015 at 10:49 am Reply
  • cat@jugglingact

    I would love to know all the mundane details. And that is also where boys and girls differ – A will give me details if I ask her and sometimes snippets will just “pop out”. The boys? I have to literally pull the tiniest bit out of them with extensive questions

    March 3, 2015 at 11:55 am Reply
  • Rosalind

    My son is 5 and is exactly the same. All I get is ‘fine’ or ‘fun’ no matter how creatively I ask the questions. Lots of parents tell me the same although my 5yo niece will come and tell me all about their volcano experiment and the kids she plays with at lunchtime etc, etc. That said, my son is always happy to go to school but my niece had tears everyday for the first few weeks.

    March 4, 2015 at 7:20 am Reply
  • Mariana Noronha

    Hello from Brazil !
    I ended up finding your blog researching about cool motherhood blogs to get inspired to start my own.
    And guess what?
    My son’s name is also Max !
    That’s very unlikely to happen cause Max is a very unusual name in Brazil.
    Anyhow, love your stuff, specially when u swear around, cause that’s soooo me lol
    Cheers!

    March 7, 2015 at 1:27 am Reply
    • Tanya Kovarsky

      Hi Mariana

      How awesome to hear from you, and yay that you have a son Max (they’re pretty awesome). Let me know if you start a blog – I would love to see it.

      All the best, and great to connect!
      T

      March 7, 2015 at 5:15 pm Reply

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