My Biggest Fear – #WritersBootcamp

July 3, 2014

Dear Max

This is the third post for Writers Bootcamp, and when I saw the topic I thought it would be an easy one. The first thing that came to mind was the fear of being out of control – not having a hold of things, and things slipping from my grasp.

I used to have recurring dreams about being stuck in the middle of a game reserve with no luggage and no way out, and of driving a car without being able to reach the pedals. I put these dreams down to a fear of not being in control, but maybe it was something else. Whatever they were, these dream scenarios terrified me, and now that I think about it, I haven’t had these two for the last few months, which could indicate something amazing happening in my head (or it could be my memory of forgetting).

So is the lack of control my biggest fear? Maybe. Sometimes. There are also fears that revolve around illness, something happening to you, of my future, of my bank balance – heck, it even extends to being seen in a bikini, or riding a bike.

Depending on where I am and how I feel, the fears are big or diminished, so perhaps my biggest fear might just be fear itself. Which is okay. I’m not disabled by it, and it fuels me to make smarter decisions (I hope).

xMom

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