These holidays we stayed at home, and since I finished the year off without the capacity or desire to even pack a toiletry bag, being in Joburg was amazing. Each November/December, I find myself *needing to get away, but this time I wanted to be home reading, writing, and finding the capacity to not only pack toiletry bags, but big cases too for the new year.
I don’t have a tan or beach pics to show for this holiday, but I do have a clearer state of mind, I guess, and I’ve worked through a pile of nine New Yorkers that I just never found good time (or capacity) to read. I feel like I also picked up what I lost for a while in 2013, along with some new friends and renewed friendships. I also picked up a bit more confidence, and faith in things.
Although I did a bit of work throughout the “holiday”, I had loads of leisure time, much of which was spent with you. You were (are) in an incredible space, and I can’t believe your metamorphosis in the last six months. I’m not sure if it’s because that’s the nature of things, or because you flourished at school, or because you’re feeding off my energy that is no longer scared, or if our space is less threatening.
Whatever the case, you’ve been confident and happy, and we’ve spent time making pizza, decorating cupcakes, seeing the zoo night lights, running (you in your jogging pram, being pushed by my much stronger running friend Matthew), reading, building Lego, swimming (OMG I actually had to get into a costume), and just being.
Your new thing is to remind me you love me, and several times a day you out of the blue say, “Mom, I love you”. It’s unexpected each time, but appreciated every instance. You are brimming with love and hugs, and it’s a reminder to me to practise more of what you dish out because affection and declarations are still a work in progress for me. But boy do I smother you in hugs and kisses!
Thanks for a great few weeks together.
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