What school do we choose for you?

March 5, 2012

Dear Max

People joke about putting your child’s name down for a school before they’re even born to assure them a place. It’s actually not much of a joke. Many private schools are quite competitive and have more of a demand than a supply, which is why getting your embryo’s/foetus’s/newborn’s/baby’s name on a list is quite a priority.

At the moment, your name isn’t down on any list, and chatting to a mom at school last week, whose daughter your age is down at three nursery schools already, I panicked a little. I’m a bit behind. And the reason I’m behind is not because I’m lazy or haven’t got round to it, it’s because I’m delaying the decision.

I don’t know what the best school is yet, and when I say “best”, I mean “right for us”. I can pro and con every school in our area based on education, location, mix of kids, morals, values and religion. Here’s what worries me about some of the schools we’ve earmarked:

– That you won’t fit in
– That the values and morals of the school don’t match ours
– That they’re too far
– That everyone is of the same religion or similar bank balance
– That you won’t have an everyday Jewish education
– That you will have an everyday Jewish education

And honestly, a lot has to do with my fears of fitting in. Will I have anything in common with the moms at the parties? Will I be self conscious that I can’t compete with house, car and bank balance? Will I match up?

I suspect that as much as I need to trust in what’s out there and do what we think is best at the time, I also need to harden the f*$& up and be the adult, not like the insecure child I might have been at school.

Today we have a meeting at a school nearby. I suspect we’ll put your name on the list, pay the deposit and hope hard that we’re doing the right thing. That’s all we can do, and carry on raising you as best as possible from the home, out.

xxx Mom

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8 Comments

  • Charlotte @ Scaredmom

    Im so with you on this. I am sitting with the decision to put Amandalynn in a private school compared to a public school and it is hard, because A – I feel she is my baby and I do not want to face the music and B- because she is still my baby!

    March 5, 2012 at 8:38 am Reply
  • Yashmitha Padayachee

    oh dear , im also in that boat . plus theres those silly zoning issues that come into play in some schools…. right now Kiiv is in a creche that im not so keen on, but its one of the few in our area that would take kids under a year old. we make sure we do tons of creative stuff at home , so he is well balanced education wise and outdoor activity wise, irrespective of what is done at school…. im mostly leaning towards sending him to the same primary school i went to . the teachers know our family and it was agood school, so i hope taht works out for me …:)

    March 5, 2012 at 8:49 am Reply
  • Karen at MomAgain@40

    Always a worry for parents…
    But I think it is overrated to start worrying too early… You don’t even know if you are still going to stay in the same area. Sort it out the year before school. But if it helps to put a child’s name on a list years before the time to stop the worry, do it!

    March 5, 2012 at 11:13 am Reply
  • Sharon

    So relate! Exactly the reason why we’re now renting and not buying another house, we’ll only do that once we’ve made a decision about schooling for Ava. The school we had our hearts set on informed us when she was 6 months old, yes, that would be 6 months old, that they are full and unable to accommodate her in 2014!!!!

    March 5, 2012 at 12:35 pm Reply
  • TJ

    Oh, don’t we all worry about that. When we lived in Edenvale I was adamant that my son would go to one of the public schools as they are good schools and fairly balanced in mix – but now I live in Rustenburg and my only option is private education or Afrikaans education. As I would like the best education and mix I have ONE option and I’m hoping I can get him in. They have assured me their list is only a year in advance.

    Good luck in your search! It’s never easy choosing for our kids. We never know if it’s the right decision. All we know is in our minds and hearts we think it’s best and hope it’s best.

    March 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm Reply
  • Bronwynne

    I dunno why but i love this post. It’s so open and honest! I’m sure Max will do just brilliantly wherever he goes!

    March 19, 2012 at 10:06 pm Reply
  • Denita

    i can relate. when Alex was 2 and a half, i did not even have him on a list (some mom’s had their babes on lists in utero!)just before he turned 3, and i was panicking to get him into a school, i listed him at a few pre-schools, who all said they had no space. And then they all *found* a space for me as soon as i paid the registration fee. Luckily I love the school I chose, and he seems to like it too. Good luck x

    March 23, 2012 at 10:20 am Reply
  • WIlma

    I wanted to say to you…for me I could not decide…now we are homeschooling. But I dont have to work. I live in Somerset West, and here if you dont drive a Fortuner, and do not live in a mansion, and do not have a full time nanny that can raise your kids, you just do not fit! I hope you find something that both of you like! So important for our little men to be happy hey!

    April 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm Reply
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