Why you should focus more on your life than others’

February 21, 2012

Dear Max

Many years ago, while I was lamenting my own life and envying others’ while sitting on a couch with a box of tissues next to me, my psychologist at the time said I shouldn’t overestimate other people’s happiness.

And it’s quite a good lesson, which I sometimes forget. The other day I think I might have turned a shade of grass green hearing about someone I know who moved into this huge “perfect” mansion. I think other people’s big houses and cars spell happiness, while their small thighs and debt mean eternal bliss. But it’s not so. And those thoughts often come when I’m having my own bad-thigh day, or worried about paying my bond on my own, and being able to keep up with your toy track habit.

But then I remember that nothing is ever as it seems, and I know you’ll be smart enough to figure it out too. When a classmate gets a new iPad 10, a Sony Playstation, or goes to Disneyworld for the third time, be happy for them. And remember the abundance you have. And be grateful for it, without lamenting what you don’t have.

I know it won’t be easy, but if you spend more time worrying about yourself and bettering yourself, and less on the others, you’ll do just great. Your dad taught me the best line in the world: “Don’t compare apples and oranges”, and you cannot go wrong with a mantra like that.

So Max, don’t overestimate other people’s happiness. And don’t underestimate how much you have, and how awesome you are.

xxxxx Mom

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13 Comments

  • Cath

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! So. Very. True! x

    February 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm Reply
  • Lauren

    what great advice!

    February 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm Reply
  • denita

    Love it!

    February 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm Reply
  • Sharon

    Thanx For that blog, I really needed it today. πŸ™‚

    February 21, 2012 at 1:30 pm Reply
  • Charlotte @ Scaredmom

    Thank you for posting this. I need this message currently.

    February 21, 2012 at 1:57 pm Reply
  • anita boxoza

    Been struggling a lot with this lately and wishing my life like was someone else!! Thanks Tanya πŸ™‚

    February 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm Reply
  • Lize

    WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!! Just what I needed to hear! Thank You Tanya! : )

    February 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm Reply
  • Cat@jugglingactoflife

    Never more true words

    February 21, 2012 at 6:32 pm Reply
  • Cat@jugglingactoflife

    Never truer words

    February 21, 2012 at 6:32 pm Reply
  • josie

    What a great post Tanya -and I agree with the others, just what i needed to hear today! Ps. My husband, dean lutrin says hi, says you were one of his first friends πŸ™‚

    February 21, 2012 at 9:14 pm Reply
  • shane

    very true,i just wished for a partner I could be happy with thats all I want in life

    February 21, 2012 at 11:47 pm Reply
  • this is exactly why need to find me « spiritedmama1

    […] read this over at Dear Max: http://www.dearmax.org/2012/02/why-you-should-focus-more-on-your-life-than-others/ Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in […]

    February 23, 2012 at 2:44 pm Reply
  • Fiona

    What great advice!

    February 23, 2012 at 9:58 pm Reply
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