I’m taking a massive flyer here, because I’m about to reveal some of the shortcuts and solutions (some may call it rule breaking) that I’ve done as a mom. So I’m half expecting some moms to have a fit, have Facebook freakouts, and write in to my boss to complain about my less-than-perfect parenting, but I reckon many will relate, and that we won’t land up on a therapist’s couch as a result of all of this.
See, parenting is hard (I’ll stop reminding you of this in about 35 years or so), and often it’s
impossible challenging to follow “rules” the whole time, and the long and textbook way of solving problems, so often we resort to quick fixes to sort out tears, sleep and feeding issues, tantrums and more.
So here are some of my non-textbook or non-traditional methods of parenting, and I hope others will share theirs too. Please. To make me feel less crappy. I’d like to add here that no one was hurt in this way of parenting – quite the opposite really – and that I don’t think this will have an adverse effect on your future wellbeing and sanity.
*Deep breath in*
– When you’re not in the mood for eating “real food”, I often give you Flings. Even if it’s for supper. Or breakfast. Sometimes it’s the only thing you’ll eat.
– The other morning you had Wine Gums for breakfast. I tried to take them away and you howled. And I couldn’t bear it so I gave you the Wine Gums and let you eat them. You happily smacked your lips a lot as you did this.
– I’ve often given you bottles of milk instead of a real meal because that’s all you’ve wanted.
– There’s what’s called the five-second rule, which means that if something drops and you pick it up within five seconds, it’s still safe to consume or put in your mouth. I have more like a five-hour to five-day rule (I think you’re the better for it Max – you’re happy and your immunity is strong!)
– I don’t ensure your teeth are brushed every day, but you do tend to prefer brushing your teeth with other people’s brushes daily.
– You put your face close to the dog’s mouth and face because you enjoy it (again, good for immunity).
– You love playing with water, and I can’t attest to the cleanliness of the water you play with (like at the park), but you holler if I take you away from puddles. Simpler to just leave it.
– Sometimes I don’t do nappy changes 100% perfectly because you wriggle around and often detest being changed.
– I have sometimes considered bubble bath to be soap and haven’t really washed you.
– When I get home from work, instead of interacting with you one on one, I put you in my car to play while I take a breather. and get stuff sorted for the next day. I’ve actually tried the non-car approach, but you don’t like it, so this is win-win for us.
There’ll be more conveniences and unconventions Max, that much I know. But I’ll try to get the rest right.
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