I am loving my staycation at the moment and am having so much spending time with you. You seem to be developing by the nappy change, and I’m so happy to be witness to it all the time! Your favourite is clapping on demand, which is proving a real party trick with friends and strangers. I say “clap hands” and you start clapping your hands, a grin emerging with each thump of the hands. You even learnt how to successfully pull of the “enter” button off my old laptop after months of tugging at it. You also got hold of one of one of my MAC lipsticks today (shade Radicchio), opened it, smeared it over your face and body, and then pawed the carpets, walls and bed, leaving pink tokens everywhere. This could be a lesson that I shouldn’t turn my back, or it could mean you have a penchant for great makeup and artistry?
As I’ve mentioned, I am rather
addicted connected to my Blackberry, and always checking emails just to ensure I’m on top’ish of things. It keeps my mind at ease that things are in control’ish. The flipside to being on top’ish of things is when you get really kak emails with complaints/commands/concerns that you can’t shake off. Which is what happened to me on the weekend. While checking up on things, I found emails/Facebook stuff that attacked me a bit, both for my work and as a mom.
I got upset and was unable to shake off this rotten feeling the whole weekend. It got me thinking that while I’d like to feel whatever I need to feel and then move on, it’s sometimes hard and instead of words/insults/actions being like water off a duck’s back, they often become growths that torment me and question who I am.
Then I started thinking what will happen if someone is mean to you one day (and it will happen caus there are many a kretin out there among all the good). Will I want you to lament and take it to heart and let mean words define you; or will I want you to hear it, see the wood for the trees and then move on?
My answer is the latter, but if I’m going to try to teach you right, or lead by good example, I guess I need to nurture the child in me and learn how to manage things in a way that is better for me. I hope this way you will be able stand up against bullies, laugh in the face of anyone who calls you names for no reason, or keep your head when people judge you without ever knowing you. I feel that to be a good mom to you, I need to put on my big-girl panties and carry on working on myself (and I’m not talking waxing or facials here). I hope I can instil in you a strong self esteem and self love (not vanity).
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