I am the mayor

December 14, 2010

Dear Max

I’m going to start this off with a cliche, one that everyone mentions in some form or other. It goes something like this: “Your life changes when you have children”, “You’ll never be the same again”, “Just wait til you have children – you’ll know what love is” etc etc. I used to think these things meant you’d never get to sleep late again, or that you would love your children a lot. But it’s something else. I think it refers to the seriously BIG LOVE one feels (I’ve looked in my thesaurus, and no word can adequately describe it). For me, I think it also refers to how much deeper I feel things now, and how things shift focus, and those that seemed so important at one stage, don’t really matter anymore.

Take last night for instance – I read a book about a dying mother who prepares her five-year-old daughter for her death, called Crossing Oceans by Gina Holmes and I was a wreak. I heaved in tears for about 15 Kindle pages and I’m just grateful Dad was watching South Park loudly or else he would have heard me and thought something disastrous had happened. I think I’ve always been sensitive and compassionate, and have cried my way through many Grey’s Anatomy episodes, but these days I’m feeling a whole lot more where kids and parents are concerned. It’s like with your birth, another chamber was added to my heart, and so many more things seem to tug at it now, whether it’s seeing a cute child in my workday, hearing of a child in need, or looking at one of those cute emails of puppies that do the rounds. And when I’m apart from you, the sight of small-people hands causes tears to well up. I think I’m the mayor of Cry Street, ever since checking in on September 22, 2009 (I hope one day you’ll be a 4 Square fan and know what I’m talking about). And I’m the Mayor of Kleenex Co. Any other moms out there who can claim similar titles?

Max, thanks for expanding my senses and world (and helping Kleenex exceed their profit margins).

xxxMom

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6 Comments

  • NickiD

    I am SO with you on this. Books, TV shows … movies. Last night we went to watch Paranormal Activity 2. Let’s just say that for a mother, this instalment of PA is particularly frightening … I was SERIOUSLY anxious, lying in bed last night, with that new chamber in my heart, pumping away madly at the thought of anything remotely hurtful ever happening to my little monkey …

    December 15, 2010 at 8:01 am Reply
  • MomAgain@40

    Great post! Mothers are the Mayors of Love! We will never be the same again! We have arrived… 😀

    December 15, 2010 at 9:27 am Reply
  • Sharon

    Tanya, so very well said and so very very true! Like you, I’ve always been a deeply compassionate and sensitive individual, but its gone to a whole new level since becoming a mother. That and my radar for inherent danger, which seems to be on a constant high alter since Ava’s birth!
    xx

    December 15, 2010 at 11:58 am Reply
  • charne

    i agree one hundred percent!! i also cry for most series shows but if i had to read a book about a dying mom that would be the end of me!

    PS if you can read a book by karen kingsbury called halfway to forever

    December 15, 2010 at 1:47 pm Reply
  • NickiD

    Oh, you should read “Room” by Emma Donoghue. It is the kind of book that may have moved me slightly before I had Luca, but literally had my heart twisted up into a ball the whole way through it, now that I am a mum. Loving the blog!

    December 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm Reply
  • AngelinAfrica

    Oh I am *so* glad I’m not alone in this! I cry at absolutely everything involving babies and children, it’s quite pathetic really. 🙂

    December 15, 2010 at 3:08 pm Reply
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